Sarah W. was in an accident when she was 14 years old. She was taken to an emergency room and after being ignored four hours was finally operated on. During her operation, she left her body. What follows is a portion of what Sarah experienced. Her full account is located on the NDERF website.
Sarah W Probable NDE
The light was so bright you couldn’t see past it or into it. I mean the light didn’t hurt my eyes at all. [I] just couldn’t see pass it to see the other side.
When I passed through the doorway I was now watching myself have this experience. I had three different perspectives of myself as well as a 360 degree view of everything.
I saw myself ascending up into the huge… border of clouds. I went up in it and came to a place I could only describe as a world of lights. Everything was sparkling and glittery like diamonds! Everything was alive with light and glowing. The trees and everything living, plant and flower, was pristine. There was no dead leaves or twigs from the trees or bushes. Everything was so clean and pristine.
I walked for what seemed a long while on this path or street just looking around at how beautiful everything was. I came to a crossroad of sorts. There was a building to the left of me. It was made of clear crystal like material… The building seemed to go into the ground and came up at the coolest angle. I remember being like “Whoa, that is so cool.”
I saw there were like 12 clear crystal walls or foundations… There were names written on them in different colors. They were English names because I could read them. I don’t remember the names now. But, I do remember saying to myself I needed to remember this. And I stared at it for what seemed like a long while.
I could see ahead of me there were two women coming my direction. I was scared to talk to anyone. I didn’t know where I was or where I was allowed to go. So, I tried to hide behind a tree as not to be seen. As they approached my direction I tried to get as close to the tree as possible and I went into it. I was totally excited about this! I said “Oh, whoa, I always thought I could do this.” I watched as the two women passed as if they couldn’t even see me. I just stood in this tree for so long it seemed. Just happy to be in it =) I thought the colors of the inside of the tree looked just like the colors I was made of.
I heard playful male voice ask me “Are you gonna stay in the tree the whole time?”
I kind of giggled and said “Oh no, I didn’t think I could go anywhere else.”
The voice said “This is your HOME and you can go anywhere you wish.”
I said “Really?”
He said “Yes!”
I started walking this path/street doing gymnastics. I love gymnastics ever since I was little. I was doing them perfectly! I have never done anything perfectly. It seemed I had my eyes closed just following someone doing all these gymnastics.
I remember walking into what I would call and office or room, but the view was so beautiful! It was Earth stunning as she is in all her beauty. The water was so deep blue it was incredible! There was a wall or window floor to ceiling. Just like the other material the other building was made of. [It] could have even been the same build. I was so busy dancing and doing gymnastics I didn’t pay attention.
The space around Earth was just like it is now: black! It was the only time I saw anything dark up there.
I was just staring out this see through wall onto Earth. I was thinking about everything I had been through up to that point in my life. Reflecting the horrible things I have been through. I always said the same things in my mind over and over growing up: Why wouldn’t God protect me from being abused? Didn’t I love him enough that he might help me like the people in the Bible? I would ask why he doesn’t stick up for me? I didn’t think anyone liked me or loved me in this world. Over and over in my mind I would ask things like this.
This time when I was thinking them to myself like I had so many times before, I was getting answers back. It was a male’s voice. His voice [was] soothing and calming. It was the perfect pitch and music to my ears. I was going over in my mind what I always had: Why won’t God protect me? I heard “He will.”
I said “He will?!!”
He said “Yes.”
With each answer I could feel the weight of worry come off my spirit…
I said “Why won’t God stick up for me?”
He told me it was all temporary, the things I was dealing with.
I told him I didn’t do all those things I was being accused of. But, no one would believed me.
He said “I believe you.”
I said “You do?”
I can’t tell you how great it felt to have someone believe me.
I was still staring out onto Earth. It was so close to where I was. I was in awe of the size and colors. I went through the rest of my thoughts.
I wish I was beautiful.
I heard “You are.”
I said “I am?!”
He said “Yes.”
I said “Oh really, because when I saw myself in the light I looked the same.”
He said “That’s not you.”
I said “Really?” thinking to myself I’ve always wanted to be more beautiful than I thought I was.
I thought about what he said for a while, happy to know that this wasn’t the real me. I was just so happy someone thought I was beautiful. I was overflowing with joy with each response. Still all the while being held by someone.
I said “I wish I could sing good.”
He said “You do.”
I said “Really?!”
He said “Yes.”
I said “I wish I was perfect.”
He said “You are!”
I said “I am?!”
He said “Yes, you are.”
Well, I thought I must have been doing something wrong to be abused. So I thought it was because I was a bad kid. (I wasn’t.) But, I said “I didn’t think I was perfect because I always got beat.” And I wanted to be good all the time so no one was mad at me. And I seem to always mess up and I didn’t want God to be mad at me.
He said “There is nothing you could do that could ever change the way God feels about you. He said “God Loves me.”
I said “He does?”
He said “Yes, He does.”
I said “I wish I was special, like the people in the Bible.”
He said “You are.”
I said “Really, I am?”
He said “Yes, you are.”
I said “I wish God Loved me like the people in the Bible.”
He said “He does!”
I said “He does?”
He said “Yes He does!”
I can’t tell you the feeling through all this. I wish I could download it and send it to everyone. Like every particle that is making up who you are is bursting with LOVE & Bliss.
I said “I just want to be with God. I just want to be with You!”
He said “You will!”
At this time I turned around… I was saying “Really I will?” There before me was the most BEAUTIFUL man I have ever seen in my whole life! The look on his face was pure LOVE and excitement. I have never ever had anyone look at me like this. His eyes [were] wide with excitement and overflowing with LOVE and JOY. The bluest blue I have seen in my life. He was young and tall, dark and the most handsomest man alive. There is no living person to ever exist that could match the BEAUTY of Jesus Christ. He was perfect in every sense… He like ran to me and I to him. He embraced me and held me so close. I melted into him and was hooked to his side from there on out. We just got lost in each other’s loving gaze for a long while it seemed.
So, I said to Jesus “You mean I don’t have to go to sleep forever?”
He kind of laughed and said “No.”
Jesus told me I was going to live forever and I would never die. He said “This place was my HOME and always had been and I would spend eternity there with them.”
I can’t describe the feeling I felt knowing this information.
The Jehovah Witnesses say I won’t go to Heaven, let alone be with God or Jesus. They say when you die you go into like an eternal sleep state. That your body is your soul and when your body dies your soul dies and you are in this sleep state until Jesus comes to wake you up. That’s what they teach anyway.
He asked me what I would like to do? Stay there or go back to Earth?
I said I didn’t know what I was supposed to do there (Earth).
He told me “Love and have fun.”
I said “that’s it?”
I said “I do, I love everyone.”
He said “I know you do.” Smiling at me so kind and full of love. He seemed to say it like he was proud of me. I was thinking to myself, well, no one likes me there.
He said “Yes they do.”
I said “They do?” thinking, well, they have a funny way of showing it.
I said “But, no one loves me.”
He said “I Love you!”
I said “You do?”
He held me close holding on to my hands in front of him close to his chest. He said “Yes, I do.”
We just stared into one another eyes some more. Both of us full of love for one another. I could stare at him forever and never turn my gaze.
I asked what was on Earth for me if I went back.
He told me he has like little presents for me strewed across this lifetime for me. He told me about all the animals that he had for me. He told me about how much they loved me.
I said “Animals can love?”
He said “Yes, of course they can!”
He showed me my life in the future if I were to go back. It played out on the see-through wall that was overlooking Earth.
I saw myself happy and laughing so much. I just wanted to be that happy because I was so unhappy while I was on Earth. Abuse and growing up being told you’re not going to Heaven. I think my spirit was just crushed here all the time. I didn’t have a happy memory, not even one. I wanted to experience what that girl was that I watching in front of me.
I saw myself get married and I was so happy to just be alive. I saw all the people I was going to save and bring to God. I just wanted everyone to feel the way I was feeling. The love was perfect and it was enough, you didn’t want anything else. It was all I wanted and still want! After I saw how many people I was going to help bring to God, I knew I wanted to come back but I was still scared to come back. I wasn’t in a good home and I was being abused daily.
I broke my gaze with Jesus and started to look out onto Earth. I wanted him to come with me but I thought he wouldn’t come with me if I asked. The thought of him saying “no” was overwhelming to me. I thought I wasn’t good enough and thought he was too beautiful to want to come back with someone like me.
I said “If I go back I don’t want to stay long.”
He said “okay.”
I prepared myself to ask if he would please come with me. I thought there is no way he is going to come with me. But, I loved him so much already. I never wanted him to leave me, ever! I turned back and looked at him. He was still smiling at me the same as he had the whole time. He expression never changed and he never took his eyes off me the whole experience I had, from the time I first saw him to when I didn’t see him anymore. I thought if he came back with me no one would hurt me. Then I can prove myself to my step-mother I didn’t do all the things she accused me of. He believes me and he could stick up for me. That and he is the most beautiful man I have ever seen or will see again. I got brave and asked if he would please come with me? He answered right away and said “Sure I’ll go.”
I ran to him and he to me and I said “YOU WILL?!”
He was still smiling at me and wide-eyed with those magnificent deep blue eyes. He held me close again with my hands in his and close to his chest. I was so happy I can’t express it at all in words. We got lost in one another gaze again. Both just bursting with love. I was over the moon and overflowing with joy, love, excitement and a feeling of being in LOVE. I still am every time I think about it.
Then this man came into the room from a door behind where we were standing. Also very beautiful with the same expression on his face as Jesus. He seemed to be super happy to see me and handed Jesus a scroll. There was a little podium next [to] Jesus and he signed something.
I looked at the man behind Jesus, and he was just smiling at me so big and loving. The man didn’t stay long and left out the same door he came in.
Jesus wanted me to go with him somewhere and he wanted to show me a few things. I walked with him for what seemed like a very long while. The landscaping was so perfect and everything was in bloom. It such a magical place beyond words. I remember walking on this path/street with Jesus and we came to a house or part of one anyway. I could [see] the side of the house had a body of water. Jesus said it was a reflection pond. I was eager to check it out and went a head of Jesus to get a better look. I turned around to see where Jesus was and he was just watching me in all my excitement. Eyes wide and full of love for me, still smiling as big as can be.
I waited for him to come closer to me and he told me “This is your house.”
I said “Really, this is my house?” It was perfect and I loved it without even seeing it.
We went in the house and I wanted to go right out to the reflection pond. I was thinking if I really wanted to go back or not. I loved it where I was and was thinking of not going back. Jesus just watched me his expression never changing from those wide eyes and contagious smile. We sat at the pond for a while and gazed at one another with love and affection. I just couldn’t believe the house was mine, it was perfect.
Jesus had something else to show me before we left to come back to Earth. We left [what] Jesus gave me and walked for a little while hand in hand. I am not sure where we went because I was just staring at Jesus the whole time. I remember Jesus being excited to show me something. I was eager to see what it was. I mean, he just gave me a house. No one ever did or gave me anything except my Grandma.
Jesus opened a door and when I walked in there was a great multitude of people whose number I couldn’t count. They were all smiling at me like Jesus and the man in the office with the scroll. He said “All these people love you.”
I said “They do?!”
Everyone was glowing with the colors of heaven. Full of love and light and super-excited to see me. They were all telling me telepathically [that] they loved me and were proud of me. I wanted to stay and visit with all of them. I loved every single one…
I said to Jesus “I wish I hadn’t spent so much time in the tree, I could maybe have visited with them.” And felt bad for not talking to those two women before. Knowing now how they all felt about me.
Jesus started laughing at about the tree comment. Everyone thought it was funny and laughed. It was so magical and I will never forget it!
We had to leave and go back to Earth. We all said our goodbyes. Jesus and I left all the people.
Jesus had to do something before we set off together to come back. He said “It might be a little strange or weird.”
I said “Okay.”
The only way to describe this is like he got into me. I could see and feel him in me. It was like I could see through his eyes and mine at the same time.
After that we left HOME behind and set off back to Earth. I remember it was so fast and yet I knew we traveled a great distance. I saw a flash of light from behind me and WHOOSH we were back in space. I felt like I was ever-expanding and knew where everything was. How far the planets were from me. There seem to be no boundary that I could sense or feel. I was stopped in space above Earth. I wanted to get one last look around before I had to come back to this dirty world and this fleshly body. It felt like I was being held in someone’s arms. From the moment I put my hand in the light I was being hugged and held. But, I was facing forward sitting almost Indian-style with my hand folded in my lap. I realized I wasn’t breathing but, I was still alive. Jesus told me that the body needed to breath, not YOU.
Than I noticed a breeze going right through me. It was so pleasant I wanted to remember it always. I live in Florida so it’s always too hot for me. I have a skin problem that makes it uncomfortable to be hot. So, the breeze was perfect temperature for me.
I looked at the water of Earth and wanted to see the water. Then WHOOSH just like that we were flying so fast it was awesome. I was smiling like I have never before. Like a rollercoaster ride but, a million times better. There is no fear of heights or falling. It was a ride I will never forget. We raced down to the water and splash the water was parting like the Red Sea on a much smaller scale. But, I wasn’t getting wet and I was in a sphere. I thought oh what a shame I am not getting wet. I liked the feeling of water on my skin.
Jesus said “Your body gets wet not you.”
I was a little bummed but nothing major I thought.
I was skimmed across the top of the water and laughed as we flew away back to the hospital. I took one last look around before going back in this body. I thought ewww it’s heavy and dirty, hot and sweaty. I didn’t have any attachment to it at all. I was grossed out by it to be honest.
I said “Where do I go in?” — meaning my body, and right then I went right in very easily. I entered at the bottom of the sternum area. It was so weird being in the body. Felt more like a hollow shell on the inside and dense on the outside. I didn’t know what to do when I re-entered this fleshly body. I bounced around on the inside for a few seconds. Down the legs and back up the legs. Down the arms and back up the arms.
I started to hear the people trying to wake me up. I couldn’t talk or reconnect to this body. Jesus said “It will take just a second to reconnect with your body.”
I thought okay, I will just stay in my head until I could answer.
Finally, I said “Does anyone have a breath mint?”
They told me I couldn’t have anything not even water. Ice chips were the only thing I could have. I thought my breath was pretty bad, so I [went] through every mint, gum and mouth wash I could remember. They were pretty annoyed with me. I just didn’t want to have bad breath and answer questions with them in my face.
I got taken to my hospital room where my father was waiting for me. I was looking around for Jesus and I didn’t see him. I thought for sure he would walk right through the door. I never saw him again and I am still looking. Until we meet again I suppose, I will wait forever to see him again.
It took me almost a year to learn how to walk again. My life changed after this happened. I am forever changed by the love Jesus showed to me.
From the Interview Portion of Sarah’s Story
“I loved everything and everyone when I came back. Even if they didn’t like me I still cared for them. Trees, animals and everything living I took another look at. They are living and loving us and we don’t even realize it. I no longer go to church or in any organized religion. It brought me closer to Jesus whom I didn’t really know before (personally).”
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